# What's the prescription for lower interest rates?

By Andre Makapagal (@andremakapagal) · Published 2026-08-12 · Updated 2026-08-12

Canonical: https://voce.com/@andremakapagal/prescription-lower-interest-rates-jn81jk

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**Just Released: Transcript of last FÖMC meeting**

**New York City, NY - CNBC Anchor:** _After a series of lackluster economic reports, the FÖMC has assembled in Washington,D.C. for a meeting with famed financier and Federal Reserve Chairman, Kevin Warsh. And luckily for us, readAI was rolling._

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**Kevin Warsh** _\[speaking to the FÖMC\]_**:** _Alright, guys. I think we're ready to lay down an epic dot-plot. By the way, my name is Kevin Warsh, yes,_ **_the_** _Kevin Warsh. And I gotta tell you, you all have got what it takes to be a dynamite team!_

**Neel Kashkari:** _Coming from you Kevin, that means alot._

**Paul Volcker:** _Yeah, I mean, you're Kevin Warsh._

**Alan Greenspan:** This is incredible.

**Ben Bernanke:** I can't believe Kevin Warsh likes us.

**Kevin Warsh:** Guys..I put my pants on just like the rest of you, one leg at time...except once my pants are on, I make gold prices rise!

**FÖMC:** _\[laughing\]_

**Kevin Warsh:** Alright, here we go, let's take a vote on a 25bps rate cut - "_Don't Fear_ _The_ _Dot Plot_" Take one.

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_(Background voices - Jerome Powell annoying other FÖMC members for a 50bps rate cut.)_

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**Kashkari:** Wait! Wait! Kevin, can you jump in here for a minute?

**Warsh:** That was going to be a great vote, what's the deal?

**Kashkari:** Are you sure about a 25bps rate cut?

**Warsh:** I'll be honest fellas. That 'Dot-Plot' was looking great but I could've used a little more -bps**.** So let's vote again, and Jerome, really explore the global economic impact this time.

**Jerome Powell:** You got it, Kevin!

**Warsh:** I mean _REALLY_ explore the global economic impact. I like what you're sayin'! Vote.

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_\[Elevated voices in background - Jerome Powell really annoying FÖMC members and saying how much Kevin likes him and how they should vote for a 100bps rate cut.\]_

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**Kashkari:** Wait! STOP! Kevin, can you get back in here?!

**Warsh:** Fellas, you've just wasted 2 good hours. This last Dot-Plot was even better than the first.

**Kashkari:** It's just that I find Jerome's 100bps rate cut gross and distracting. I don't know, if I'm the only one, I'll just shut up.

**Volcker:** No, it's pretty rough.

**Powell:** I can dial back the -bps a little if you'd like?

**Warsh:** Not too much though. I'm telling you fellas, you're gonna want that rate cut on the Dot-Plot.

**Powell:** No, that's fine. Let's just do this vote.

**Warsh:** Let's vote.

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_\[background: Powell overheard sounding like an impetuous child not getting his way...tables and chairs crashing\]_

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**Kashkari:** Come on, Jerome!

**Powell:** No! You come on!

**Warsh** _\[enters room\]_**:** That, that..doesn't work for me. I gotta have more -bps!

**Greenspan:** Don't blow this news conference for us, Jerome!

**Bernanke:** Quit being so dovish Jerome!

**Powell:** Can I just say one thing?

**Warsh:** Say it, baby! Just say it!

**Powell:** I'm standing here staring at finance legend Kevin Warsh...

**Warsh:** The whip of the bps, baby!

**Powell:** ...and if Kevin Warsh wants more -bps, we should probably give him more -bps!

**Warsh:** Say it, baby!

**Powell:** And Neel, you are right...I am being dovish. But the last time I checked, we don't have a whole lot of _Dot Plots_ that feature the -bps.

**Warsh:** I gotta have more -bps, baby!

**Powell:** And I'd be doing our country a disservice and every member of this FÖMC, if I didn't cut the HELL out of this interest rate!

**Warsh:** Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription...is more -bps!

**Powell:** Thank you Kevin. But I think if...I think if I just leave...and maybe I'll come back later and we can vote later _\[starts to leave conference room\]_

**Warsh:** Aww, c'mon baby...

**Kashkari:** Jerome, wait! Why don't you cut that interest rate right now. With us. Together.

**Jerome:** Do you mean that, Neel?

**Kashkari:** Oh, yeah.

**Volcker:** He speaks for all of us.

**Powell:** Thank you.

**Warsh:** Babies...before we're done here...y'all be speaking gold-plated jawboning.

**Volcker:** What does that mean?

**Warsh:** Never question Kevin Warsh! Vote!