A real estate deal can survive a time-sensitive problem. It rarely survives silence. In a competitive market, the difference between winning and losing a home comes down to the people around you picking up the phone when the pressure hits, not to which lender quoted the lowest rate or which agent posted the most listings. I have spent 23 years in mortgage lending and real estate, and I have watched thousands of dollars and entire closings hinge on a single returned call.
What working across cities taught me about communication
No two real estate markets operate the exact same way. Every city carries its own culture, pace, and way of doing business and, I have found, its own interpretation of whether answering the phone is still part of the job. In 23 years of mortgage lending across different markets, that last one was the most telling lesson, and I am still learning it in real time.
You would expect that an industry built almost entirely around communication would treat a returned call as standard. It is not. People are genuinely busy, agents showing homes, lenders structuring loans, attorneys reviewing contracts, title companies clearing title, insurance agents assembling quotes. But there is a wide gap between being busy and being unreachable, and it matters most when someone has trusted you with one of the largest financial transactions of their life.
Most homebuyers will spend hours comparing rates, researching agents, and calculating what they can afford. Those things matter. What too few buyers weigh is what happens when that work meets a deadline that cannot wait.
When a crazy day becomes your emergency
Think through the buyer's reality. You are purchasing a $500,000, $750,000, or $1 million home, with tens of thousands of dollars of your own money in play. An earnest money deadline, home inspection, appraisal, mortgage underwriting, homeowners insurance, title work, financing contingencies, and a closing date are all moving at once. Then something happens... because something always happens.
Maybe the seller sends a counteroffer and wants an answer tonight. Maybe the inspection surfaces an issue. The appraisal comes in low. Underwriting requests clarification on a deposit. The title company finds a lien that has to be cleared before closing. So you call the person who is supposed to help. Voicemail. You text. Nothing. You email. Silence.
Three hours later you wonder whether this person is busy or has entered the witness protection program. Eventually the reply comes: "Sorry, crazy day." Everyone has crazy days. But the question every buyer and seller should ask before choosing their team is this: what happens when their crazy day becomes your emergency? That single question changes how you evaluate everyone in the transaction.
Most closing delays trace back to exactly the kinds of things that need a fast answer, a corrected loan disclosure that legally resets a waiting period, a third party like an appraiser or title company running behind, paperwork that arrives wrong. None of those, on their own, kill the deal. The calendar is what slips. The right team, answering fast, keeps that slip from becoming a loss.
Unavailable is not the same as unresponsive
To be clear: no one is asking your agent or lender to be on call 24 hours a day. That is unreasonable, and people have lives. The distinction that matters is between being unavailable and being unresponsive. They are not the same thing, and the second one costs deals.
If I am tied up and cannot speak with someone right away, it takes about ten seconds to send a message explaining that I am tied up for the next hour and will call at a specific time. Problem solved. The client knows I received the message and knows when to expect me. They are not left wondering what is happening. That is not an advanced customer service strategy. It is just communication.
That is also why I have never understood the claim that being too busy to answer is evidence of success. If your business depends on clients, isn't communicating with those clients part of the business? And if someone is consistently too slow to respond before you are a client, what do you think happens after they already have your business? That second question is more revealing than most people realize.
The sales volume trap: what production really buys you
Production matters. Market knowledge matters. Negotiation experience matters. None of it helps at the exact moment it needs to. If your agent sells $50 million of real estate a year but takes nine hours to return your call while you are in a multiple-offer situation, how much does that number do for you at that moment? The answer is nothing.
The same logic applies to lenders. A great interest rate means nothing if the lender's customer service creates delays, miscommunication, or last-minute surprises at closing (Opendoor). Experienced agents know which lenders close on time and which ones don't, so it pays to ask around before you commit. The guidance is consistent whether you are working in Chicago's loop or a smaller market: pay attention to how quickly and clearly a lender communicates during preapproval, because that is a reliable preview of what underwriting and closing will look like (Opendoor).
So instead of interviewing only on accomplishments, interview on communication. Ask, "When something goes wrong during my transaction, what should I expect from you?" Ask how the team handles a financing question at 7 pm on offer night. Ask how often you will hear from them once you are under contract. Then listen, because you are not hunting for the answer you want to hear. You are trying to understand how this person operates under pressure. Buying a home is easy when everything goes to plan. You learn far more about your team when it does not.
The $750,000 game of Where is My Lender?
Here is the concrete version of the stakes. You are buying a $750,000 home in a competitive market with multiple offers. The listing agent sends back a counteroffer and gives you two hours to respond. Before you accept, you need to know how the higher price changes your down payment, closing costs, mortgage payment, and cash needed at closing.
So you call your mortgage lender. Voicemail. You text. Nothing. You call again. Nothing. That is a $750,000 game of Where is My Lender and you are losing it while the clock runs.
Now run the same buyer through the exact same situation with a responsive team. The buyer calls the lender, who answers or calls back fast. The lender runs the updated numbers. The agent speaks with the listing agent. Everyone understands the situation, the buyer gets the information they need, and they make an informed decision.
Same property. Same price. Same market. Completely different experience. The only thing that changed was the people surrounding the buyer.
How to interview responsiveness before you commit
The fix is to evaluate communication before you ever write an offer. Ask your lender what the communication process looks like during preapproval and underwriting. Ask your agent how quickly they typically respond during an offer negotiation. Ask who covers for them when they are unavailable, and how often you will receive updates once you are under contract.
Most buyers and sellers do not shop around much, but the one agent they do talk to still has to earn the decision on the strength of how responsive they feel. The numbers back this up: 91% of buyers who were satisfied with their agent would use them again or recommend them (BAM), and buyers value personal update calls so highly that 72% cite them as the communication they want most from their agent (BAM). Responsiveness is not a nice-to-have; it is what the best experiences are built on.
You might be surprised by what you learn from asking. Because when you choose the people who represent you in a home purchase or sale, you are not simply choosing resumes. You are choosing how problems get handled, who communicates when something changes, who tells you the truth when the answer is not what you hoped, and who is available when an important decision must be made.
Sometimes the agent with the biggest social media following, the most transactions, or the flashiest marketing is absolutely the right person. Sometimes they are not. After decades in this business, I have become far more interested in the simple things: does this person answer? Do they return calls? Do they communicate clearly? Do they follow through on what they said? Do they treat your transaction like it matters? Those things are hard to put on a billboard and they become very important when your money is on the line.
The standard really is this simple
If you are buying, selling, applying for a mortgage, or getting ready to enter the market, spend time thinking about who you are surrounding yourself with. The best agent or lender for you might not be the one who tells you everything you want to hear. It might be the one willing to ask better questions, point out something you have not considered, tell you when a deal does not make financial sense, and pick up the phone when you actually need them.
Because problems in real estate rarely schedule themselves between 9 am and 5 pm. When several hundred thousand dollars of your own money is on the line, hearing "your call is very important to us" is not the relationship you were looking for. Sometimes the standard really is this simple: answer the phone.
