# BEFORE WE TALK ABOUT A REVERSE MORTGAGE, LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU. By Jarrod Manley (@jarrodmanley) · Published 2026-08-26 Canonical: https://voce.com/@jarrodmanley/talk-reverse-mortgage-let-ldazze --- If we were sitting around your kitchen table talking about a reverse mortgage, I wouldn't start by explaining loan limits, interest rates or how much money you might be able to access. I'd start by asking questions. What do you want the next ten or twenty years of your life to look like? Do you want to stay in this home? What worries you financially? What would make retirement a little more comfortable? What do you want your children to understand about the decisions you're considering? And who else needs to be sitting at this table with us? Because a reverse mortgage isn't something I believe should begin with a mortgage conversation. It should begin with a **life conversation**. Then, once I understand what you're trying to accomplish, we can determine whether a reverse mortgage even belongs in the conversation. Sometimes it will. Sometimes it won't. But either way, I want you to understand why. ## Your Home Is More Than an Asset on a Balance Sheet For many people approaching or living in retirement, their home represents one of the largest assets they've accumulated during their lifetime. But it may represent much more than money. It's where you raised your children. It's where the grandchildren come to visit. It's the kitchen table where thousands of conversations have happened. It's your neighborhood, your church, your doctors, your friends and the life you've spent years building. So when somebody starts talking about using the equity in that home as part of a retirement strategy, I understand why people have questions. They should. This isn't a decision that should be made because somebody showed you a commercial or told you how much money you could get. You need to understand what you're doing. ## Yes, You Still Own Your Home This is one of the biggest misconceptions I hear about reverse mortgages. A reverse mortgage does **not** mean you're giving your house to the bank. You retain ownership of your home, just as you do with a traditional mortgage, subject to the terms of the loan. With a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage, commonly called a **HECM**, the borrower generally must continue living in the home as their principal residence and remain responsible for property taxes, homeowners insurance, required maintenance and other applicable property charges. That's important. A reverse mortgage eliminates the requirement for a monthly principal and interest mortgage payment while the loan remains in good standing, but it does **not** eliminate the responsibilities that come with owning a home. That's exactly the kind of distinction I want somebody to understand before making a decision. ## What Happens to the Monthly Mortgage Payment? For the right homeowner, this can be one of the most meaningful parts of the conversation. A reverse mortgage generally does not require the borrower to make monthly principal and interest mortgage payments while the loan remains in good standing. That doesn't mean the money is free. Interest and applicable charges accrue to the loan balance over time, and the loan will eventually become due and payable, generally when the last borrower permanently leaves the home, sells it or passes away, subject to the loan terms. But think about what eliminating a required monthly mortgage payment could mean to someone's monthly cash flow. For one family, it might simply provide more breathing room. For another, it might allow them to preserve other retirement assets longer. Someone else may want access to funds for home improvements, healthcare expenses or other needs. That's why I don't like beginning the conversation with, **"How much money can I get?"** I would rather begin with: **"What are we trying to accomplish?"** Those are two very different conversations. ## You May Have More Than One Way to Access the Funds Depending on the reverse mortgage structure and the borrower's circumstances, proceeds may potentially be available through different methods, such as a lump sum, monthly advances, a line of credit or a combination of available options. That flexibility is one of the reasons I believe the conversation should extend beyond simply paying off an existing mortgage. Maybe accessing all the available funds immediately doesn't make sense. Maybe maintaining access to a line of credit is more appropriate. Maybe the objective is improving monthly cash flow. Maybe the homeowner doesn't need proceeds at all today but wants to understand the options that could be available later. The answer depends on the person. That's why we sit at the kitchen table first. ## What About the Children? I want the children involved when Mom or Dad wants them involved. In fact, some of the best reverse mortgage conversations I've had are family conversations. Adult children often have questions of their own. **Will Mom still own the house?** **What happens when Dad passes away?** **Are we giving away the inheritance?** **What happens to the equity?** Those are fair questions. When the loan becomes due, the home doesn't simply disappear into the hands of the lender. Generally, the homeowner or heirs can satisfy the reverse mortgage balance, which may include selling the home, refinancing or using other available assets, depending on the circumstances. A HECM is also a **non-recourse loan**. Generally, neither the borrower nor the estate is required to repay more than the value of the home when the loan is repaid through the sale of the property, subject to the program requirements. If equity remains after the reverse mortgage and applicable costs are satisfied, that remaining equity belongs to the homeowner or their estate. I don't want children excluded from the conversation because somebody is afraid they'll object. I'd rather educate everybody. Questions don't bother me. Questions are how we get to understanding. ## Your Financial Advisor May Need a Chair at the Table Too A reverse mortgage shouldn't necessarily be evaluated in isolation. This should often involve conversations with trusted financial advisors. Families should look at the full retirement picture. Income. Savings. Investments. Social Security. Pensions. Healthcare needs. Taxes. Estate considerations. Housing. And the goals the homeowner has for the years ahead. A reverse mortgage may be one piece of a larger planning strategy. I encourage families to involve their advisors early when appropriate. The best decisions happen when everyone is communicating together. I'm a mortgage professional. I'm not trying to replace someone's financial advisor, CPA, estate-planning attorney or other trusted professional. I want everybody doing the job they're qualified to do and communicating with each other when the homeowner gives us permission to do so. ## A Reverse Mortgage Isn't Automatically the Right Answer This is something I believe strongly. Just because somebody qualifies for a financial product doesn't mean they should use it. A reverse mortgage is no different. If somebody comes to me asking about one, my job isn't to convince them to get one. My job is to help them understand it. What problem are we trying to solve? What are the benefits? What are the costs? What responsibilities remain? What alternatives should be considered? What happens five years from now? What happens ten years from now? What happens when the homeowner eventually leaves the home? Those questions matter. And if, after answering them, a reverse mortgage doesn't make sense, then we've still accomplished something valuable. We learned that before making a major financial decision. ## There Is an Emotional Side to This Conversation This is something numbers on a loan comparison can't explain. People have spent decades being told: **Pay off your house.** For many homeowners, owning that home free and clear represents success, security and a lifetime of hard work. Then somebody comes along in retirement and says, "Have you considered using some of the equity in your home?" Of course there can be an emotional reaction. I respect that. That's another reason I don't believe this conversation should be rushed. The equity didn't magically appear in the house. You built it. You made the payments. You maintained the home. You lived the life that happened inside those walls. So if you're considering using some of that equity during retirement, you deserve to understand exactly what that means. Not just financially. For **you**. ## Education Comes Before the Decision I don't believe success in a reverse mortgage conversation is measured by whether somebody closes a reverse mortgage. Success is when the homeowner and their family understand their options well enough to make a decision they're comfortable with. Maybe the answer is yes. Maybe the answer is no. Maybe the answer is not yet. Those can all be good outcomes when they're based on education instead of fear, pressure or misunderstanding. That's what I would want if my family were sitting at that kitchen table. And that's how I want to treat yours. ## Pull Up a Chair If you're considering a reverse mortgage—or you're the son, daughter, family member, Realtor or trusted advisor of someone who is—I don't think the first conversation needs to be complicated. Bring your questions. Bring your concerns. Bring the things you've heard that you're not sure are true. And if Mom or Dad wants the family involved, pull up another chair. We can talk about the mortgage after we understand the people sitting around the table. Because that's where I believe this conversation belongs. **Jarrod Manley** Mortgage Loan Originator Jarrod Manley Mortgage Group Direct: **(614) 400-3339** Email: [**jmanley@smprate.com**](mailto:jmanley@smprate.com) [Jarrod Manley Mortgage Group](https://jarrodmanleymortgagegroup.com/)